So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
