The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just blew my weed a kiss
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
