were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
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I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
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You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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