He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
25 People Confess The Sex Acts They Were Super Ashamed Of
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....