Texts From Last Night

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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.

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  (267): i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts? (267): i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about. http://tfl.nu/nsac
  Replies (51) Good night (3398) Bad night (1021)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process

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  (214): I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process http://tfl.nu/ph4s
  Replies (10) Good night (672) Bad night (4764)
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  (914): View more from New York

  When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...

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  (914): When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking... http://tfl.nu/3yo6
  Replies (13) Good night (5015) Bad night (1218)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now

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  (803): If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now http://tfl.nu/b5gc
  Replies (9) Good night (2046) Bad night (3620)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs

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  (773): I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs http://tfl.nu/g3cl
  Replies (3) Good night (3410) Bad night (910)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw

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  (608): It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw http://tfl.nu/lvr6
  Replies (10) Good night (3774) Bad night (865)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.

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  (715): She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar. http://tfl.nu/6ko7
  Replies (2) Good night (1665) Bad night (1010)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single

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  (970): Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single http://tfl.nu/1weq
  Replies (12) Good night (2638) Bad night (1030)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.

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  (615): The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw. http://tfl.nu/u9lh
  Replies (10) Good night (860) Bad night (2919)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.

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  (507): So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver. http://tfl.nu/b2sj
  Replies (3) Good night (1362) Bad night (741)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...

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  (469): Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it... http://tfl.nu/spt6
  Replies (7) Good night (2733) Bad night (770)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...

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  (440): Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet... http://tfl.nu/o56f
  Replies (2) Good night (953) Bad night (511)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  You're the common denominator of my blackouts.

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  (202): You're the common denominator of my blackouts. http://tfl.nu/n8nz
  Replies (4) Good night (733) Bad night (322)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.

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  (917): Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it. http://tfl.nu/mn53
  Replies (2) Good night (716) Bad night (331)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.

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  (218): She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever. http://tfl.nu/8rzl
  Replies (1) Good night (687) Bad night (500)

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