I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg