Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.