I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.