i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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