fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
