She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
