the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
