I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
