this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
