i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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