I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
and she was petting her beer can
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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