Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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