Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
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It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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