i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
