Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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