Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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