Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
