garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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