I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Say something about gay babies.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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