Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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