this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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