Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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