u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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