Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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