dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
