In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
