My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
