I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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