you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
