Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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