He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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