oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
