I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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