i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
