not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
