You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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