you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
