i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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