Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
