Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you didnt know i had herpes?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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