PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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