she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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