You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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