i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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