I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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