is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
