And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
