I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
