we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize