Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
