Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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