everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
