haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
