i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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