Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
