Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
