playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
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Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
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It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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