i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
