Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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