But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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