Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
