suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
