So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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