My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
