why didn't you poke me back
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
