ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just found puke in my bra..
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
